If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
