You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
