I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Randomize
