How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
