He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
