i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
