my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
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