peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
