Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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