I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
