Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I showed him my bush... on skype.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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