Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
