Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
