I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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