Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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