Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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