CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
