I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
