Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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