I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
