nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
