Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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