he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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