I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize