I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Every concussion has its silver lining
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
