i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
