Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
