Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
