he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Farmville is her only friend.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Randomize
