Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
