i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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