she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
