Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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