she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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