You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
