his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
