he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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