"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
