yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
ugly people sure do ruin things
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
