the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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