do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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