I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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