Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
