Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize