I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
