If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
