Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
