I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
