i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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