Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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