gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
