Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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