Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
