I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
