Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I think a kid would responsible me up
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
i out mim tonsoeep
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
