I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
