In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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