i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
