i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
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