honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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