Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
