Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Randomize
