I can tuck mytits in my pants
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
