If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
