Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
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