Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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