you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
