Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
