No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
What drink are we having for lunch?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
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