I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
