Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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