Heybabeimwearingurpanties
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
