Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Randomize
