I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
