Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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