What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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